Whistle for the Choir
by thisobsessioniscontagious
Summary: If you love someone, you let them go and hope they don't notice how much you want them back. Chris/Lindsay


**Whistle for the Choir**

…**C/L…**

_Well it's a big, big city and it's always the same._

_Can never be too pretty,_

_Tell me your name. _

_Is it out of line, _

_If I was to be bold and say, "Would you be mine?"_

…**C/L…**

Lindsay wished there was a camera in front of the toilet. While it wasn't the most common thing people would want while in the bathroom, it was all she craved to see.

It wasn't _her_ fault she associated toilet time with cameras. Bathrooms, dressing rooms… all the confessionals from the Total Drama shows had been rather awkward, private places. Now, even years after her final elimination, these places were still synonymous with safety. When she felt she needed to get something off her chest or make a confession, she went to the place she was trained to go – the bathroom.

But the bathroom wasn't as private of a place as it usually was. Someone was standing outside the door, waiting for her to come out. She heard them flicking the door handle, trying to test her patience. So any ideas of talking to herself in the mirror (it worked as well as a camera – she could see her reflection better, too) had to wait for later, when no one would be around to hear her. Especially not the person who wanted her to unlock the door.

"Lindsay," the man on the other side of the door groaned. He was getting annoyed. Not that it should be a surprise to her since this was the most popular emotion she elicited from him. "This is _really_ lame, babe."

"I – I can't, Chris!" she choked out, looking down at her feet in shame. God, did she have ugly feet. They made her feel hideous. Almost as hideous as this predicament she was snatched in did.

"And _why_ _can't you_?"

She smiled at the way he emphasized and drug out his words. She thought it was one of the cuter habits he had. She remembered the way he looked when she first told him so. She'd never seen someone so cocky look so stunned by a compliment. Remembering how he reacted to her back then only made her feel more guilty.

"Because I don't want you to see the ring!" Lindsay's eyes flew up from her feet to the shower curtain, her jaw dropping in shock. "Oops…"

…**C/L…**

_Because I may be a beggar and you may be the queen. _

_I know I may be on a downer, _

_I'm still ready to dream._

_Now it's three o'clock, _

_Time is the just time it takes for you to talk._

…**C/L…**

She never really could keep anything from Chris. Like the fact she was cheating on her long-term boyfriend with him. He didn't seem to mind at first, but it got to the point where she couldn't even say his name without Chris tensing and being short with her. She could only imagine how he'd take this new turn of events.

It was silent on his side of the door. Lindsay worried her lip, tapping her ring nervously. It was a new tendency she picked up last night when she got it. "Chris?" she crooned. "Are you okay out there?"

Nothing. Then – "Let me see it."

She winced at his voice. He didn't sound annoyed or angry, but somewhere in the between. Like he could be knocked either way depending on the next few moments.

She gathered up her courage and walked to the door, clicking the lock to the side and opening out. She was assaulted by Chris leaning against the wall, eyes heavy on her face before sinking to her hands. He sighed to see her glossy gold ring aligned with little diamonds to adorn the much larger sapphire in the center.

"Lemme guess – he told you this ring reminded him of your blue eyes," Chris jeered, his eyes straying up to her face again with a smug look.

Lindsay clapped her fingers together. "Actually, yes – yes he did! Trent was so sweet when he said it –"

"I don't care how _sweet_ that poser dude says anything," Chris snipped out bitterly. He tugged her over to him and trapped her to the wall he leaned against when she came out, his elbows resting on either side of her as he leaned in. "Boy-Band isn't man enough for you. You think I don't hear how many times your cell phone buzzes when we go out together? What, like he needs to communicate with you twenty-four seven or he'll just keel over and _die_." Chris considered this. "You know, you should go a while with your phone off and see if he chooses to cut his wrists or his throat."

"Chris," Lindsay said, her brows crunching over her eyes in frustration. "I don't want to hear you talk about Trent like that!"

Chris's smugness ebbed away, and his eyes got dark. "Really now? Why's that?"

"Because I _love_ him, dumb-dumb!" she insisted.

Chris shook his head and leaned closer, brushing his nose to hers. "What about me?"

She looked away, that guilty feeling sweltering up in her chest again. "Don't do this to me," she complained. "It isn't fair. I'm engaged to Trent…"

"If that's so," Chris mused, "then why are you over _my_ place, wearing _my_ shirt, after _we_ –"

" – _Chris please!_ –"

" – _had sex_ the day after you got a fiancé that wasn't me?" Chris shook his head. "I think it's pretty clear who the one you really love is to everybody in this equation _but you_."

Lindsay looked up at him and shook her head. "But I can't pick who I like more if both of you love me and if I'm supposed to love both of you."

"You're not _supposed_ to do anything," Chris promised as he lined her jaw with kisses, unfastening the buttons of his shirt she still had on. "And there _really_ shouldn't be a competition," he added. "And I'm pretty sick of sharing… so if you just want to give me that ring, we can express it to Trent and take off somewhere, you and me. Sounds nice, hmm?"

He brought his lips up to meet hers, and he teased them a bit until she bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as he shot off her. "The hell, Lindsay?"

"I don't think I can be here right now," Lindsay said as she went back to the bathroom to lock herself in. "I… don't want to be with you and Trent anymore."

Chris rolled his eyes and tried to not be distracted as she took his shirt off and swapped it for the blouse she wore this morning. "You just decided to stop cheating _now_?"

Lindsay blanked. Had she really been doing that? Cheating? She'd always had Chris in her back corner, ever since the show. Being with him was routine, not cheating. He'd been a part of every relationship… always the third wheel…

It clicked. She _had_ been. She'd just been so used to the idea of having Chris and someone else since Chris always had someone else. But she wasn't a teenager anymore, she was older. And engaged.

She left without looking back at him or promising to text or call or… anything. Chris didn't feel worried though, he just casually flicked up his bangs and waited with a smirk. She'd be back and minute now for her pants, which just so happened to by his bed…

…**C/L…**

_So if you're lonely, why'd ya say you're not lonely?_

_Oh you're a silly girl._

_I know, I heard it's so._

_It's just like you to come and go – _

_And know me._

_No, you don't even know me._

_You're so sweet to try._

_Oh my, you caught my eye._

_A girl like you is just irresistible_

…**C/L…**

She never came back for her pants, something that had bothered Chris for the past four days. The fact he hadn't seen or heard from her since then also bothered him. He was a fool, this whole situation was his doing.

He'd lied to Lindsay in Total Drama Island, when their relationship started. It was new, it was taboo – and God, was he worried she was going to let it slip to the whole world. He needed a cover, something to give her more motivation to keep her mouth shut on the issue and make her realize this secret wasn't one you spilled to _BFFL's_.

I have a girlfriend, he told her. She can't find out about this, so you can't say anything to anyone. If it got out I was cheating on her, she'd be pissed enough to… to… to cut your hair. Or something else really crazy that bitches who get cheated on do.

She looked so down, so hurt, but she understood. She was kid, he was using her. 'Nuff said. She'd pose pretty with Tyler, and he'd pose handsomely with his imaginary girlfriend.

Through the years, he had dozens of these fake girls. Hell, he hadn't so much as thought about kissing anyone since being with Lindsay. But he didn't want her to know that. He didn't want to seem clingy or needy. He didn't want her to think he loved her as much as he did.

Now it was four days later, and he was regretting the walls he'd been building since she was sixteen.

…**C/L…**

_Well it's a big, big city and the lights are all out._

_But it's as much as I can do, you know I'll figure you out._

_And I must confess:_

_My heart's in broken pieces and my head's a mess._

…**C/L…**

He saw her the fifth day after she left him. Lindsay was at his door, with her hand out expectantly. "I came for my custom-fit jeans," she said, in what she must have imagined to be a determined voice. Chris arched a brow and waited for her to say more. "… and because I missed you."

She started crying, right there in his doorway, hand still out. "I'm sorry," she repeated with her eyes squeezed shut, her body shivering. "But I don't want to be second, I deserve to be first. Trent ma-makes me first, y'know? He like –"

"There." She blinked at the pants in her hand and looked up to see Chris's arms crossed. "Anything else you want back?"

She stared at him, he at her, and something snapped between them and they kissed all the places on each other that they missed through the short separation. It was strange how incomplete it was when they weren't together, how well they clicked back into their routine. And it wasn't just the sex with him, which is how Lindsay thought it must be for the other girl's he always seemed to be with whenever he wasn't with her. It was… just being with _him_. It was him. It always had been, no matter how right or wrong it was.

She wouldn't keep doing this, though. She couldn't. She knew that now. This was the last time she was going to stand for this. Just because Chris loved her no matter who she came with, doesn't mean she wanted to be loved while with someone else. It just wasn't right. How'd he manage to do it – be with her and another girl? She'd never understand it. She didn't want to.

…**C/L…**

_And it's four in the morning, and I'm walking along,_

_Beside the ghost of every drinker here who's ever done wrong._

_And it's you – _

_That's got me going crazy for the things you do._

…**C/L…**

The note was written in a cursive font, all the letters looping together in thin, gold ink. Lindsay and Trent's wedding invitation was certainly not how he expected it to look. Then again, Chris hadn't expected to even be invited.

"Damn brat," Chris muttered as he swung the amber liquid in his glass around, glaring at the invitation. Then he thought about Lindsay and took a swallow. "Damn _brats_." Obviously he wasn't going, but he wanted an excuse to see Lindsay. She had made it clear that night a few months ago – was it three or four now? – she was a one-guy kinda lady. Well, he was a one-lady kinda guy, not that he had the balls to even fess up then.

You should focus on your girlfriend you've been dating while you were seeing me, Chris, she said. Maybe one day you'll get married. Then we can all be happy friends and _not cheating_ _homewreckers_.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to marry the girl he'd been courting for all this time. But she was taken and – apparently – wasn't interested in dating a man whore anymore. Eh, there goes his window of opportunity.

…**C/L…**

_So if you're crazy,_

_I don't care you amaze me._

_But you're a stupid girl._

…**C/L…**

One day out of the blue she called. It had been three months since they last talked, she confirmed.

"I didn't get you're invite back yet," she moped over the phone. "Why not? Did you even get it?"

"Oh yeah, I did," Chris confirmed. "Then the trash got it."

He could see her crinkle her nose. "Ewe, really? Want me to –"

"No, I don't want you to send me a new one. Let's just… chill. I just wanna hear how you've been. I…" Chris shook off his insecurities. He was losing her because of them. "I miss you."

…**C/L…**

_Oh me, oh my –_

_You talk, _

_I die._

_You smile, you laugh,_

_I cry._

…**C/L…**

"Awe, I've missed you too! Trent isn't as fun to talk as you are, but I've been getting used to telling him everything instead of you."

A weight dropped in his chest.

"Yeah, he can be pretty funny. And sweet, but you know that," she laughed. "I guess he makes me happy, but I don't know. I mean I don't feel right just yet, but I think it's because I'm so stressed and stuff. It's like really a lot of work to do wedding stuff, but that's what a wife-to-be's gotta do. You think Beth would be more helpful, but at least she approves of Trent since she hated you – and, Chris? Are you… crying?"

…**C/L…**

_And only a girl like you could be lonely._

_And it's a crying shame, _

_If you would think the same…_

_A boy like me is just irresistible._

…**C/L…**

"Trent, we need to talk."

After dating Lindsay for two years to this point, Trent knew when she wasn't happy. She hadn't been herself for months now since she had a falling out with her best friend. Trent cringed – he'd always known she'd gone off to be with Chris, he just never called her out on it. The girl was terrible at covering her trail.

But he wanted her and knew she'd eventually come around. He just hadn't expected her to be so miserable when she did.

"What about, Linds?"

She looked away, as if doubting herself, then took her ring off and put it by him. "I don't love you, Trent."

He sniffed, hoping he wouldn't cry after getting dumped. He saw this coming. But could he say he really loved her? She was just another girl. He wanted someone to fill the gaps he had from all the other bad-relationships he sang about on his CDs. He wanted to have a friend with him, someone hot guys would want and all those girls who crushed him would be jealous of.

"I love Chris."

He held the ring tighter, his ears ringing. He knew it.

"… So, I hope we can still be friends. Everything's all right between us, right?"

Lindsay hadn't heard so much swearing since she told off Heather. As Trent grabbed his guitar and bolted from his apartment (and he said _she_ had blonde moments) she decided it might be awhile before they could have any sort of healthy relationship again. But now her concern wasn't with him.

It was time to make Chris hers and only hers.

…**C/L…**

_So if you're lonely, why did you say you're not lonely?_

_Oh you're a silly girl._

_I know, I heard it so._

_It's just like you, to come, and go – _

_And know me._

_No you don't even know me._

_You're so sweet to try._

_Oh my, you caught my eye._

…**C/L…**

"I want to be Mrs. Chris," Lindsay told Mr. Chris at five in the morning, which was the time it took her to arrive on his doorstep with all her bags. "Since I called my engagement off with Trent, I need a new fiancé, and you're just going to have to work."

Chris, groggy as can be, rubbed a hand through his unusually mussed hair. "You… all this… just after one phone call _you_ decide to propose to _me_? Nuh-uh, I'm –"

"Stuff it. I even bought myself a new ring with a much bigger diamond." She flexed her fingers, showing off her jewel. "Yup, much nicer than Trent's."

"But I didn't –"

"And since I'm hiring you as my fiancé, you have to only love me. No other girlfriends, got it? Now, help me move my stuff in so I can go to sleep. It'll take _forever_ if I try to do it all by myself."

Chris grabbed her arms in his hands to make her stop and give him her attention. "Lindsay, you can't just barge in and make me your fiancé and move in and force me to stop seeing girl's I'm not seeing."

She blinked at him, her trust in him shining through. "You love me, riiight?"

Five months, and he was still all about this girl. "Uh, can't say I don't."

"Then… you're saying you don't want me to live with you? Or marry you? Or leave Trent? Or you don't want just me?"

"What? God no, I want all those things –"

"Then what's the problem?"

Chris blanched. There was no problem. Not that things were how he had wanted them to be since day one. No more pushing, no more denial, no more of him thinking he's too good for her. He couldn't help but give in to all her whims – it was like satiating his own. After all, how could he refuse his fiancé of anything?

…**C/L…**

_A girl like you is just irresistible._

…**C/L…**

**This little ficlet was dedicated to the talented anonymousreader07, who writes some smash-hits for the Chris/Lindsay fandom, and got me interested in the couple. Check her stuff out, it's epic.**

**The song was Whistle for the Choir (obviously xP) by The Fratellis, which I don't own. And the characters and anything else related to Total Drama Island used or mention is property of Teletoon.**


End file.
